Monday, March 26, 2007

It's Big and Scary and Totally AWESOME.

I'm giving my 2 weeks notice at the day job one week from today. I
just canceled my health insurance and filed papers to switch it over
to a different company associated with Steve's work beginning April
15th. If things play out smoothly, my final day at the day job will be
Friday, April 13th. I start full time yarn store owner duty on Monday,
April 16th.
I'm getting nervous about making the big leap to being self-employed.
Yes, I'm totally excited and happy and all of that, but I'm also
totally anxious and afraid to let go of the small degree of security
the day job provides. Sure, the day job is no fun at all, is not in a
climate controlled environment, and requires me to wear steel toe
shoes, all of which have been making me want to poke my eyeballs out
with pencils since almost the day I started it, but it pays pretty
I'm looking at the controllable and familliar hell I already know vs
the unfamiliar, unknown, and completely possible hell I can't really
predict. Of course, Steve is there with his own self-employment to
catch whatever slack develops in the budget and chances are the store
will do fine, but it is still a big deal to me to make this drastic
change. It means I have to let go and trust that he can pay everything
for a while. That's huge for me.
People used to live with this uncertainty all the time. There were no
big companies or factories to go work for back then. It was every man
for himself and if you sucked as a craftsman or as a salesman or a
farmer, or whatever then you just didn't eat. If I think of it that
way it isn't so bad because at least I know there is cheap stuff
available to eat, plus we do own a huge pile of camping equipment so
we could always run away and go live in the national forest if things
got super bad. We could come into town once a week, panhandle for a
day, load up on ramen, rice, and beans, and hightail it back to the
woods. Is it bad that my backup life plan is being a farty hippie? I
thought so. haha

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